It's too bad you had to go through all of that, but lessons learned. I hope it wasn't too costly. I hesitate to give money to anybody, especially the post office. There are tons of un-professionals out there. Great post and best wishes, David.
First off, you were more than patient with him. I applaud your discipline in not succumbing to rage or bitterness.
Secondly, I feel your pain. A guy in a Discord group asked for guests in a show he had planned well in advance. I couldn't remember the exact dates my wife had in mind for a week-long getaway, but I knew the podcast date was close, so I said maybe.
Later, he tagged my name and said he needed a definite yes for the podcast. I checked with the missus and realized it was on the day we were scheduled to be on the road all day with no WiFi. My wife graciously agreed to change our plans so I could be home sitting by the computer when the podcast was to take place.
I gave him his definite yes, marked my calendar, made the necessary changes to our plans. The time off from work was already settled, so it meant we would just have to burn one of those days so I could be available for his show. At that point it was over a month out.
I wasn't as dilligent as you about checking with this guy periodically: "Are we still on?" "Are we still on?" But he was advertising the show regularly on Discord so folks there would watch it. The day arrived, the hours grew close, I got my computer, camera, etc. set up. I checked Discord for the link in the DMs. Nothing. But the show wasn't canceled--he had continued posting about it up to the last minute.
I DMed him for the link. He sent me a YT address. I asked, "That's all we need now--not a link from Stream Yard or whatever?"
"Those links are only for guests," sez he.
"Maybe I made a mistake back then or halucinated our whole conversation," sez I. But I was irritated enough, and it was now too late to hit the road anyway, that I searched back through the conversations on discord and found where we had sealed the deal. Took a screenshot and sent it to him, and sez, "Wazzup?"
"Oh, sorry," he replies. "I forgot about that."
Dude has been calling for guests for his show in May, like every time I get on Discord. Fool me once, shame on you...
Oh that's some shit behavior to be sure. I think this is part of the problem - show hosts often get things started and don't realize that you need to be organized, then don't understand that you're involving someone else's time and schedule.
They want the show to grow fast so they can be called an "influencer" and all that, but they have zero sense of responsibility in turn. If you're a guest on my show, I owe you courtesy. You're making time for me, on my schedule, to help my show. I need to make sure I honor that, stay prepared, make sure everything is ready to go, highlight you and make sure you have a good time in the process.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Man, I think you worded this one professionally without any intent to fire back and call them out by name. It takes maturity and class to handle this the way you did. I'll make sure to keep this in mind for future reference. Sorry you had to experience this, but now you are the wiser for it.
I try to temper the irritation, my friend. My goal here is to issue a lesson borne from experience. Like I said - sword and shield for my author friends, and that mirror for my creator ones!
Secondary thought here too is remembering that as the author on the interview (particularly if asked, but also if offered and accepted) you are the product. You are the draw. You are the asset. Don't let someone walk on you or treat you like you have no worth. It's a BS move.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom gained from a shitty experience! I underwent something similar a few years ago, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic---an influencer asked for and received a signed copy to review for his websites, then ghosted me.
It's too bad you had to go through all of that, but lessons learned. I hope it wasn't too costly. I hesitate to give money to anybody, especially the post office. There are tons of un-professionals out there. Great post and best wishes, David.
First off, you were more than patient with him. I applaud your discipline in not succumbing to rage or bitterness.
Secondly, I feel your pain. A guy in a Discord group asked for guests in a show he had planned well in advance. I couldn't remember the exact dates my wife had in mind for a week-long getaway, but I knew the podcast date was close, so I said maybe.
Later, he tagged my name and said he needed a definite yes for the podcast. I checked with the missus and realized it was on the day we were scheduled to be on the road all day with no WiFi. My wife graciously agreed to change our plans so I could be home sitting by the computer when the podcast was to take place.
I gave him his definite yes, marked my calendar, made the necessary changes to our plans. The time off from work was already settled, so it meant we would just have to burn one of those days so I could be available for his show. At that point it was over a month out.
I wasn't as dilligent as you about checking with this guy periodically: "Are we still on?" "Are we still on?" But he was advertising the show regularly on Discord so folks there would watch it. The day arrived, the hours grew close, I got my computer, camera, etc. set up. I checked Discord for the link in the DMs. Nothing. But the show wasn't canceled--he had continued posting about it up to the last minute.
I DMed him for the link. He sent me a YT address. I asked, "That's all we need now--not a link from Stream Yard or whatever?"
"Those links are only for guests," sez he.
"Maybe I made a mistake back then or halucinated our whole conversation," sez I. But I was irritated enough, and it was now too late to hit the road anyway, that I searched back through the conversations on discord and found where we had sealed the deal. Took a screenshot and sent it to him, and sez, "Wazzup?"
"Oh, sorry," he replies. "I forgot about that."
Dude has been calling for guests for his show in May, like every time I get on Discord. Fool me once, shame on you...
Oh that's some shit behavior to be sure. I think this is part of the problem - show hosts often get things started and don't realize that you need to be organized, then don't understand that you're involving someone else's time and schedule.
They want the show to grow fast so they can be called an "influencer" and all that, but they have zero sense of responsibility in turn. If you're a guest on my show, I owe you courtesy. You're making time for me, on my schedule, to help my show. I need to make sure I honor that, stay prepared, make sure everything is ready to go, highlight you and make sure you have a good time in the process.
As far as I can tell, you do all of that my friend. I appreciate it, and I’m sure others do, as well.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Man, I think you worded this one professionally without any intent to fire back and call them out by name. It takes maturity and class to handle this the way you did. I'll make sure to keep this in mind for future reference. Sorry you had to experience this, but now you are the wiser for it.
I try to temper the irritation, my friend. My goal here is to issue a lesson borne from experience. Like I said - sword and shield for my author friends, and that mirror for my creator ones!
I get the last minute thing if it was a recorded show. You could pump it before release, but last minute livestreaming is a huge no.
Good news is we are all learning together. Sharing insights like this can only make us better.
Secondary thought here too is remembering that as the author on the interview (particularly if asked, but also if offered and accepted) you are the product. You are the draw. You are the asset. Don't let someone walk on you or treat you like you have no worth. It's a BS move.
Recorded show, absolutely agreed. Do that whenever you can, release it in a few days, promote the hell out of it and have a blast.
But a stream where you promised all the things? Not cool.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom gained from a shitty experience! I underwent something similar a few years ago, but it wasn't nearly as dramatic---an influencer asked for and received a signed copy to review for his websites, then ghosted me.