Paying The Price

There is such thing as creative cost.

Behold, fine friend, sales numbers for September:

“That’s disappointing.” Also, that’s what she said.

Before I get into today’s topic I want to clarify something …

I am not complaining.

I am not asking for sales.

I am also not upset in the slightest.

I am here to educate you, and give you a fresh perspective on what - at surface level - seems like an epic failure.

“But what can you possibly teach me about marketing when you’re throwing up a goose egg on sales for an entire month?”

A lot, because already you’ve made assumptions you shouldn’t have since you aren’t using your brain. So sit down, shush your face, and I’m gonna learn ya some. I’ve been in the online game for a long time, folks.

Not that I need to prove my cred but are you aware of the fact that at one point I designed, created and coded a software application that went viral and was in use in literally every country in the world?

Including some dude’s laptop from Kiribati?

Of course, that was 25 years ago, and sure, some people called it “malware” because I incidentally built in a mechanism by which it would re-install itself every time you booted up windows but let’s not get sidetracked ...

What Happened In September?

A lot, it turns out.

First, let’s answer an obvious question.

Am I a shit author?

The answer to that is no.

Okay fine, second question …

Am I shit at managing socials?

Again, the answer to that is no.

Let’s be fair and realistic. Are these gangbuster numbers? Of course not. My point to all of this is to put “zero sales” in context. I’ve built a channel past 10K subs. I’ve built a LIVE channel to over 100, and I’ve got a music artist channel gaining subs and views on the daily inside of about 7 weeks.

Why The Sales Zero?

There’s a price to creativity when it comes to engagement and socials, and it is independent of the quality and quantity of your work. If I create something that fills me with joy, and it gets zero sales, it’s still a win because my metric for creation is not sales …

… it’s making sure I don’t lose my fucking mind, get burnt out, hate everyone, and become a recluse in a hoodie somewhere in a dark cabin.

With sunglasses.

I do not create books, characters, worlds, music and video for money. If other people like it, I am thrilled. If I create honestly, I know I’ve done what I’m meant to do and my mind, temporarily, is clear.

I create to maintain sanity. It is as critical to how I function as oxygen, water, and Nutella. Without it, I am not myself, I am barely human, I am depressed, I stay in the dark, and I push everything and everyone away. I’m also generally miserable and ready for the Great Meteor to hit me.

I have actually been in the happiest and most creative space imaginable from summer forward. I’m telling stories, I’m writing, I’m making music, I’m working on video - both music videos and anime. I’m world-building, I’m building a brand new business, I’m making slow and steady progress on SPACE PEW PEW 2 - Electric Pewpaloo, and I’m reshaping my brand, my creative output, and my work methods. I’m picking up skills beyond my wildest imagination in what is a foundational change.

I’m also using this creative time to soothe what has been a relentless barrage of personal bullshit that I’m not going to get into.

My success metric necessarily cannot be cash, because chasing cash has always depressed me to my core, and I find that when I’m creating and having a wonderful time, it doesn’t matter if someone’s knocking down my door for an unpaid bill.

I’m doing what God put me here to do.

(I mean, you still gotta pay bills, but you get my point)

The Cost of Creating

By stretching myself into different storytelling avenues, it necessarily means I am into Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None territory.

Am I an author? Well, yes, but that’s not who I am.

Am I a creator? Again yeah, but there’s more to it than that.

Business owner? To a degree, I’ve been that since 2001.

And because my efforts end up stretching across mediums, I’ll take the occasional L from time to time.

Focusing on writing? Be prepared not to get anything done on the anime.

Working on the anime? Less time for music.

Working on music? Less time for writing.

Working on myself?

Well … everything takes a back seat, because if I’m not okay, none of this gets done.

What Does This Mean For You?

Here’s where I’m going to hopefully make you think. Do not ever let a down sales month drag you down. Look at it, ask why, be objective and honest about the answer, and apply course correction as needed.

My personal balance has to focus on ensuring that I am creating and feeling that spark above and beyond everything else. That September goose egg happened because I didn’t promote or advertise my books for that month. I was building a platform on Spotify, YouTube Music, and creating video.

This is why I can’t be a ghostwriter. I have zero interest in writing someone else’s work, or writing strictly for cash. Kudos to those who do.

Does this mean I’ll never be a “working writer” in the traditional sense?

Well yeah. That’s not my path. Author, yes. But the guy who churns out 6 books a year?

lulz.

Maybe that’ll change as I age, but right now, I just write books because I want to tell that story and make it a great experience for anyone that joins me.

I make music because it is storytelling something that’s in my head and my heart.

I create video because it is monumentally satisfying to see a visual representation of something that only I can view in my brain. It’s also storytelling.

I share all of this in the hopes that it brings someone else joy.

“Oh BuT tHaT isNt a bUsINeSs PlAN!!1!”

Correct. My goal is to create full time, and be paid to do so, but in order to do that, I have to create what I want and feel good doing it, because if I don’t?

It all goes sideways.

And I can’t reach that goal without a solid foundation, a body of work, and an upgrade of all of my skills. I’ll take a monthly goose egg on sales in exchange for laying the foundation for success beyond everything I could hope for.

Closing Thoughts

There’s something very freeing about cutting your own path forward, outside the constraints of expectations. At the same time, you are punished for doing so, and not sitting in the box that everyone and everything expects you to sit in. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It’s thankless. It’s long hours. It’s sacrifice. It’s work.

Stop making videos? Engagement suffers.

Stop promoting your book? Sales suffer.

Take a break or a vacation? Everything suffers.

Create what you want, when you want, and build your IP and your creative career on your terms?

Best. Gig. Ever.

I’ll let DMX play us out. Until next time, fine friends, don’t be too hard on yourselves …